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Guy goes nuts with a knife, shoots his mom with an AK-47 because she won't give him $2.

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Post by JaysonAych Thu Apr 16, 2009 3:26 am

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/04/15/Complaint-Man-attacked-mother-over-2/UPI-31161239811686/

On Something Awful, they were calling it "Better Off Dead II: The Return of Johnny."
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Post by Honor Thu Apr 16, 2009 3:53 am

lol, facing up to 45 years in prison over 2 bucks.
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Post by Talon Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:48 am

Haha, 3 AK bullets cost like $2.
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Post by Omni Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:35 am

He seems like a reasonable guy to me.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:02 am

haha I love how he's 31 too, and asking his mother for $2 for a bar cover charge.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:46 am

:roflmao:

people are so fucked in the midwest.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:13 pm

Seriously. give me the coasts. Lets just turn the fly-over states into a giant wilderness preserve. See how long everyone lasts. We could make bets.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:14 pm

you can tell they were hearty eaters, though, because that chick took 3 rounds from a fairly deadly assault rifle and lived to tell the tale!
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:28 pm

Aristotle wrote:you can tell they were hearty eaters, though, because that chick took 3 rounds from a fairly deadly assault rifle and lived to tell the tale!

ha! Probably enveloped in the rolls of fat well away from any vital organs.

She'll probably just absorb the bullets into her system for whatever needed elements they might contain and discharge the rest into her defecation pouch.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:59 pm

hahaha

i bet she eats bullets for fun.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:02 pm

Aristotle wrote:hahaha

i bet she eats bullets for fun.

almost certainly
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:04 pm

i bet they have our names on them, too.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:08 pm

Aristotle wrote:i bet they have our names on them, too.

That sounds about right.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:12 pm

this may be why honor man was never able to follow through with his promise. every time he tried to take us out, that woman would eat the bullets, thereby saving us and perpetuating these lives of woe.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:13 pm

Aristotle wrote:this may be why honor man was never able to follow through with his promise. every time he tried to take us out, that woman would eat the bullets, thereby saving us and perpetuating these lives of woe.

There really isn't any justice, is there?
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:14 pm

i'm afraid not.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:23 pm

Aristotle wrote:i'm afraid not.

Well, there's always the bends.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:49 pm

that would be a good song.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:40 pm

Aristotle wrote:that would be a good song.

We should become song writers man. Song writers / bloggers.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:03 pm

possible track names:

screamo
there's always the bends
naked canoe
raska was here
cold lake
bluntman
mexican standoff
ropes and beams
blam.gif
tailhappy's wife
hypnotic passion
10000 posts of pain
one weekend in orilla
doctor divorce

this shit practically writes itself, wally.
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:12 pm

Falcon's Manifesto
The Ballad of Honor and Cheater
Watch Threads at Dawn
What Kind of Car Should I Get?


Damn, you're right.
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Post by Talon Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:31 pm

This should be the AF theme song.



Last edited by Talon on Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:33 pm

yes, but that megan girl from american idol should be the one singing it.
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Post by Talon Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:34 pm

I have a hot load when her name on it.
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Post by Talon Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:37 pm

Paint a nice map of Hawaii on her back...
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:59 pm

fuck yeah
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Post by dunnas Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:01 pm

He shot her in the leg. That's why she lived. It says it right there in that rather small news article. Suspect
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Post by thewalrus Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:04 pm

Dunnas is giving us the stink eye.
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Post by Aristotle Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:12 pm

dunnas wrote:He shot her in the leg. That's why she lived. It says it right there in that rather small news article. Suspect

femoral artery
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Post by Bluntman Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:48 pm

Damn you all to hell!!!!!!! :grrr: :grrr: :grrr: :grrr: :grrr: :grrr: :grrr: :sonofscreamo: :sonofscreamo: :sonofscreamo:
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Post by JaysonAych Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:34 pm

thewalrus wrote:Dunnas is giving us the stink eye.

It's more like he's "presenting."
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Post by Bluntman Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:21 pm

Do not drag my future baby mama into this :smelly:
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Post by Aristotle Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:25 pm

:wtfsoliz?:
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Post by Honor Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:58 pm

dont worry guys. im still going to murder you both in cold blood someday. dont give up hope..
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Post by Aristotle Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:47 pm

thanks, man.
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Post by Honor Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:46 pm

double murder/suicide, of course. i hate my life just as much as you guys do. :undies:
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Post by Aristotle Sat Apr 18, 2009 1:41 am

llllol

nobody gets out alive
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Post by Honor Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:36 am

NOBODY!

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Post by Aristotle Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:03 pm

awwww shit
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Post by Tailhappy Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:14 pm

Aristotle wrote:possible track names:

screamo
there's always the bends
naked canoe
raska was here
cold lake
bluntman
mexican standoff
ropes and beams
blam.gif
tailhappy's wife
hypnotic passion
10000 posts of pain
one weekend in orilla
doctor divorce

this shit practically writes itself, wally.

I wonder if we could even GET Yoko Ono to do that one.
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