We're going to need an election night drinking thread

[GregTX]

...and rules.

Every time a state goes blue, take a shot of Hennesey
Every time a state goes red, take a shot of Patron

Every time a commenter mentions "game changing", "rogue", or any drivel they've been spouting off recently, vomit over your TV.

If anyone mentions Ron Paul or Bob Barr, take some X and head out on the town.

[JaysonAych]

If John McCain loses and says something blatantly racist during his concession speech (e.g., "I hope you all are happy now that the darkie won,") then you have to drink everything in your house. Not just alcohol, but anything liquid...soda, bottled water, barbecue sauce, olive oil, corn syrup, whatever.

If any clips of Sarah Palin talking are shown, you must get pregnant and THEN do two shots. Continue to do shots from time to time throughout the pregnancy.

Pour out a cold 40 whenever anyone mentions how sad it is that Tim Russert isn't around to cover the election.

If Joe Biden is shown on TV and his eyes are open wider than 0.5 centimeters, do three shots.

Hire an agent to bring you a beer and drink it while recording a country music track whenever someone mentions Joe the Plumber.

[JaysonAych]

If any commentator accidentally burps or farts on air, do a shot. Your next burp or fart must top theirs or you have to do two more shots when you fail. If you manage to call in to the news show and get on the air live to demonstrate your gastric attempt live to the country, then you also have to print up a t-shirt that says, "I did the most awesome thing ever on election night 2008," with a photographic or illustrative recreation of the event, and wear it the rest of your life.

If a candidate's acceptance speech is intro'd or outro'd by a song that was recorded in the last 20 years, sit there agape while someone else sprays a Super Soaker full of whisky in your mouth. If at any point during election night someone plays Green Day's "Time of Your Life," shoot yourself in the fucking earhole.

[big_jesus]

these are great rules.

[JaysonAych]

these are great rules.

Yeah, too bad no one else noticed 'em

[big_jesus]

what did you expect? people to pay attention to you?
you should know better.

[JaysonAych]

what did you expect? people to pay attention to you?
you should know better.

Yeah, it's not like I haven't had 30 years of trends to go by.