Dispatches from Kentucky

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Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:55 pm

I should make this a series.

Facebook photo of gas theft from police car leads to arrest

There it was on Facebook for all to see - Michael Baker with a gas can, a siphon hose stuck into a police cruiser and a middle finger raised defiantly.

Among those who saw it were Jenkins Police officials. They arrested 20-year-old Michael Baker on Monday and charged him with theft by unlawful taking.

:facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Talon on Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:45 pm

Saw that. Reminds me of the Asian kid who posted his pic on Facebook during the Vancouver riots. These people get what's coming to them.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Tailhappy on Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:42 pm

Yeah, here in Milwaukee we just get drunk, try to park friend's Lambos, then get punched repeatedly in the head while NOT resisting.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Turbojett on Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:30 pm

that video made me seasick before i even got to see the important part.

and "unlawful taking"?! how about, uhm, I dunno...Theft. or Larceny. or something that doesn't sound like a four year old with a CrackerJack-box law degree came up with it. :facepalm:
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:30 am

It was "Theft by Unlawful Taking." Which is different from other types of theft because........

Wally? Rod?

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Turbojett on Tue Apr 24, 2012 12:46 am

because some smartass with the correct number of neurons and chromosomes could be like "Theft? Theft on what grounds?! TROOOLLOLOLOLOLOL"
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:30 am

Not exactly Kentucky, but the Louisville suburbs are close enough!

http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/07/us/indiana-balloon-proposal/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

A marriage proposal in southern Indiana concluded with a shock late Wednesday, when the hot air balloon carrying the future bride and groom hit a power line and knocked the pilot unconscious, a sheriff's office spokesman said.

The airborne proposition was heading for a happy end, as the balloon began to land at about 8 p.m. in Sellersburg, Indiana, just north of Louisville, Kentucky.

"When the basket touched the ground, the female said 'yes' to the engagement," said Major Chuck Adams with the Clark County, Indiana Sheriff's office.

But they had landed on a patch overgrown with tall grass, so the pilot and balloon owner, Dallas Beall, who owns a jewelry store in Louisville, boosted the balloon "and tried to land again, and that's when it hit the wires," Adams said.

The basket holding the passengers made contact with the power lines.

An electric shock knocked Beall out, who fell into the bride-to-be, giving her an electric jolt as well. The future groom gave Beall CPR, possibly reviving him.

"The pilot was conscious when my officers arrived on scene," Adams said.

The pilot and bride-to-be were transferred to local hospitals, said Dennis Blake, emergency dispatcher in Clark County, Indiana.

Both were treated on the scene for burns, said Adams, who did not believe the injuries were life threatening.

:facepalm:

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Fri Jun 08, 2012 4:23 pm

Ah, this is more like it! http://www.wave3.com/story/18706425/police-man-stabs-roommate-during-fight-over-messy-room

A Louisville man was arrested after he stabbed his roommate during a dispute over the cleanliness of the suspect's room, according to police.

Police were called to the home the men shared in the 1700 block of St. Louis Avenue around 9:45 Monday night on a report of a man stabbed in the abdomen. The victim was taken to a hospital. His condition is not known.

Investigators said James M. Stephenson, 51, told them he was tired of his roommate complaining about the state of Stephenson's room, so Stephenson grabbed a butcher knife and stabbed him.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Pennzoil GT-R on Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:49 am

ahhh i love american cops. dumbest collection of people on earth

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Turbojett on Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:46 pm

no, actually that honor belongs to American politicians. the cops just have to settle for second.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Pennzoil GT-R on Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:21 pm

i would actually put the average east asian citizen up there now that i think about it

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Wed Aug 08, 2012 3:26 am

Hoo-boy, this is a double-whammy!

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20120807/NEWS01/308070028/Man-tells-police-he-set-toilet-fire-Louisville-gas-station-religious-reasons-

A 36-year-old Louisville man was arrested Saturday morning after police said he set a toilet on fire at a Speedway gas station and claimed he did it for “religious reasons.”

James Crittenden was arrested at a Kroger store next to the Speedway near the intersection of Jane Street and Brownsboro Road. A Louisville Metro police report said after the man set the toilet on fire he was screaming at customers at the Kroger, and when police tried to arrest him, he threatened an officer.

Employees at the Speedway, 2300 Brownsboro Road, told officers that they confronted Crittenden after he set the toilet on fire and he told them he did it “for religious reasons,” the report said. Officers said Crittenden was found with a lighter when he was arrested.

Officers said Crittenden’s eyes were bloodshot and he smelled of alcohol when he was arrested. The incident happened at about 10:07 a.m. Saturday.

Crittenden was charged with public alcohol intoxication, disorderly conduct, terroristic threatening and first degree arson.

Saturday’s incident wasn’t the first time Crittenden had been in trouble with the law in recent days. On July 25 he was arrested at a Value Market on Bardstown Road after being accused of huffing 10 cans of Reddi-wip at the store and saying that the U.S. Constitution gave him the right to do so, an LMPD report said.

Officers reported that Crittenden was “intoxicated on nitrous oxide from huffing the Reddi-wip,” the report said. He had “extremely slurred speech” and was unsteady on his feet, it said.

Crittenden, who had already been banned from the store, was huffing the whipped cream cans in the aisles of the store, which was “causing alarm” to customers, the report said.

The total value of the cans of Reddi-wip was $26.90, and while Crittenden offered to pay for them, officers said he only had $7 in his pocket.

Crittenden told officers that he was huffing the cans in an attempt to “wake up,” and that the Constitution “allows him the authority to huff Reddi-wip,” the report said.

He was arrested and charged with theft by unlawful taking, public intoxication via a controlled substance, second-degree disorderly conduct and third degree criminal trespass.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Honor on Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:05 am

Now that sounds like a religion worth joining. :roflmao:
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Sun Sep 30, 2012 3:49 am

http://www.whas11.com/home/Ky-restaurant-after-inspector--171932061.html

WILLIAMSBURG, Ky. (AP) -- An eastern Kentucky health inspector says he has shut down a restaurant after finding road-kill in its kitchen.

Paul Lawson told WYMT-TV that he went to inspect the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg after customers complained to the health department that it appeared employees had brought in a dead animal. Lawson said he immediately shut the place down.

Lawson said the restaurant owner's son apparently picked a dead deer up from a roadside and brought it to the eatery. Lawson said the owner reported he didn't plan to serve the animal to customers; he planned to feed it to his family.

The inspector said the owner wasn't aware of health regulations, and will not face any fines.

He said the restaurant can reopen if it passes another health inspection.

I'd have figured if it was legal anywhere, it would be Eastern Kentucky.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by SBF on Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:35 pm

Oh jesus. I always worry about chinese places. :yeech:
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Tailhappy on Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:38 pm

Nothing wrong with that, people bring home dead deer all time here.

If you kill a deer with your car, you can claim it with law enforcement. And if you don't want it, anyone else can claim it as well.

Venison is tasty tasty meat.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Sun Sep 30, 2012 9:04 pm

"Home" is the operative term. Bringing an animal that was recently struck by a car and left in a ditch from said ditch straight into a restaurant is something else all together.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Turbojett on Sun Sep 30, 2012 10:17 pm

Benfolio wrote:Nothing wrong with that, people bring home dead deer all time here.

If you kill a deer with your car, you can claim it with law enforcement. And if you don't want it, anyone else can claim it as well.

Venison is tasty tasty meat.

but it's better if you cook it with a little bit of oil, because it dries out easily.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Tailhappy on Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:46 pm

JaysonAych wrote:"Home" is the operative term. Bringing an animal that was recently struck by a car and left in a ditch from said ditch straight into a restaurant is something else all together.

Been to many Asian restaurants lately? It IS home.

There's always a table of kids, or grandparents, or aunts, eating and reading the paper, paying bills, doing God knows what. Then they disappear through a door to the "kitchen".
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Tue Oct 02, 2012 6:47 am

God I fucking hate local news. There was a story Monday about a school bus collision, the 2nd one to happen around here in the last two school days. In the first one, some teenagers in a Mustang ran a stop sign and broadsided a bus, flipping it onto its side and sending 50 kids to the hospital, so hearing about a new accident so soon is a bit of a big deal. However, the most recent one was fortunately a minor accident, but that doesn't stop the local news from trumping shit up:

Call it a mother's intuition, but Kimberly Wilkinson says she knew something wasn't right.

"I waited at his bus stop for over an hour and 15 minutes and his bus never showed," she said.

That's when she says she trusted her gut instinct and made some phone calls to find out what was going on with bus number 1051.

Mother's intuition? Gut instinct? Like anyone else would be thinking, "Yeah, the school bus didn't show up for well over an hour. Maybe something's up? Maybe? Naaah. I'll just wait a little longer."

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Honor on Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:28 am

Haha
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Tailhappy on Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:57 am

Fuck, if my kids are 15 minutes late I get all antsy in my pantsy.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by SBF on Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:50 am

An hour and 15 minutes? You have to be kidding me. Gut instinct? It's more like your common sense was delayed by an hour.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Turbojett on Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:56 am

strong gut instinct, but slow on the uptake. hits you like a ton of brick an hour later than it should.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Swerve on Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:12 pm

I hope they start using that woman's psychic abilities to solve local crimes. She's being wasted stuck at bus stops for hours at a time.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:00 am

I smell a new CBS drama!

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by JaysonAych on Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:45 am

So a train derailed near Fort Knox a couple of days ago, and a bunch of chemical cars are posing a health hazard while it gets cleaned up. Fort Knox is 30 miles away from me, so I didn't think much about it and had actually forgotten about the whole thing.

Which is why for a brief moment, I nearly shit myself when I flipped over to the National Weather Service homepage and saw this:



HOLY SHIT EVACUATION WHAT THE HELL CHRISTING FUCK WHAT DID I MISS A TERRORIST ATTACK OH JESUS *clicks link* ....shit, it's the fucking derailment. The evacuation just covers a 1.2 mile radius, but they lit up three entire counties on the map because that small radius just happens to be where those three counties meet.

Dammit.

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by SBF on Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:37 am

Haha, you're turning into the news.
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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Pennzoil GT-R on Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:35 am

Swerve wrote:I hope they start using that woman's psychic abilities to solve local crimes. She's being wasted stuck at bus stops for hours at a time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-20145664

the best bit being her insistence that it "doesn't prove a thing".

Yes, yes it kind of does. :whipitgood:

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Re: Dispatches from Kentucky

Post by Swerve on Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:13 am

I recall there is a $1,000,000 prize offered by some skeptic society for the first person able to prove supernatural powers of any kind. This is going back a while (possibly decades) but I suspect the offer still stands...

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